the past few days

-I was in a truly shittastic mood all weekend, and a trip to the beach (to a friend’s place for an annual holiday bash) paradoxically made things much worse.  To wit: while standing by the calm blue yonder of the Atlantic, under the first clear sky of summer, I became annoyed with the way my hair was blowing into my face and remarked, “Ugh, this goddamn ocean breeze!”  I become more and more like a curmudgeonly old Jewish man every day.

-During that ill-fated beach excursion, as I grew increasingly melancholy about some recent family drama, and increasingly uncomfortable about being at a party with dozens of strangers, I received a text message that my pregnant friend had been in a car accident and was possibly in premature labor.  I spent the next several minutes in my car, staring listlessly at distant fireworks, until I decided I was officially done and drove back to Boston.  (She’s fine and the bun is still safely in the oven.)

-I gave blood today and, instead of the usual ten minutes of screening questions (“In the past two hours, have you shot up with a dirty needle while simultaneously having anal sex with an AIDS-infected bonobo chimp?”  Who hasn’t?!) the nurse asked me just one question, then instructed me to answer the rest myself by clicking yes/no buttons on her laptop.  The question she asked me herself was “You were born a woman, right?”

-I was torn asunder by a client’s power wheelchair, which I was driving to help him get around a corner.  My steering technique was poor and I managed to get myself wedged between the chair and the wall, and when I tried to put the chair in reverse the joystick got stuck in forward mode and I was trapped!, wriggling and struggling in grievous pain.  It pretty much sucked, but I think the bruising will be spectacular.

3 thoughts on “the past few days

  1. I don’t care WTF mood you’re in, I can’t wait to see you! and, oh yeah, that guy you hang out with. love, MIL

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